Mrs. Weirdo: "I want to crack a whip and throw knives"
Me: I don't own a whip. I can teach you how to throw a spear, or shoot a bow, if you like.
Mrs. Weirdo: "I nicked my ankle shaving 3 days ago, and it's still gooey and itches.
You think that means it's healing or infected? OMG I WANT TO SCRATCH IT"
Me: Yeah, you should probably put something on that.
Go away, you weirdo.
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