Wha..what?

~ nb bby cyborgian hag ~

SAG SUN//CANCER MOON//LEO RISING

bitterly earnest hag!
lets trade YA sci-fi and cry
if you fight n wanna practice n are queer message me lets grapple
i care lots about collaborative learning, intentionality and honesty, plants and magic, accessible medicine and healthcare, transformative justice, letters

terfs/radscum fuck off

The first things people usually notice about me

timid glares

I spend a lot of time thinking about

how to heal from trauma//accountability in small communities//
how to continue interacting with the world in a way that doesn't make me feel like shit 

You should message me if

your books section isn't empty
you want to talk about food justice or medicine in a way that doesnt perpetuate fatphobia or individualism or systems of oppression
you wanna go to shows with me/go to galleries/play music
yr queer/trans/genderqueer
you wanna go on walks at priest point

Queer / anarcho migrations?

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Queer / anarcho migrations - how we all came to the city to be ourselves & many of us dream of going elsewhere to deepen our connection with the earth. 

 

You should message me if 

- You wanna share + elaborate feminist queertopia visions.

Sarcasm is not attractive.

But women think it is. A lot. Not just young women either; these are ostensibly adults. What the hell, women?
 
I am funny, sarcastic, socially awkward, very shy until I'm comfortable with someone.
I am really good at being sarcastic...or witty.
You are interested in meeting a genuine, sarcastic gal
I am both serious, and goofy with a pretty dry, sarcastic sense of humor.
I dig observing irony and enjoy providing impromptu ironic (not sarcastic) commentary to make myself and others laugh.
 I’m really good at being me, caring, loyal, sarcastic, sometimes a lil OCD.
I'm also pretty good at being flirtatious AND sarcastic all at once.
Generally speaking, I am, indeed, a sarcastic smart-ass...
If you have a dry sense of humor I'll get you. I was raised around it. I'm also very sarcastic.
I have a quick-witted and sarcastic sense of humor, but am friendly,
I am playful and sarcastic.
I'm fun and super sarcastic.
I have a sarcastic sense of humor and am infinitely curious.
I'm an awesome,funny,sarcastic n witty,loving, caring, honest and actually absolutely genuine, perverted as hell, A REAL woman..
Self summary: Loyal, fun and sarcastic.
I am Funny, Sarcastic, and Open-minded.
I’m really good at being sincere, thoughtful, generous, sarcastic,...
I am very funny and super sarcastic.
I am easy going, sarcastic, funny, outgoing.
The six things I could never do without 4. Being sarcastic
I’m really good at Texting in a sarcastic font.
It is also important that you do not take yourself too seriously, I have a sarcastic personality!
I'm looking for someone who is fun and sarcastic.
Fun, outgoing, sarcastic, bubbly, opinionated and rare.
My eyes are blue and I am sassy & sarcastic.

Paper shield

This is the kind of shit people see on Facebook, and actually believe reposting a block of text will protect them. Some woman had this at the op of her profile.

"***WARNING: To any individuals and/or institutions/organizations using this or any of its associated sites for projects and/or investigations, you do not have my permission to use any of my profile information, pictures, videos, blogs or stories in any form; past, current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal action."

Caution Tape?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

CAUTION TAPE:

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I DON'T WANT INTERNET SEX! FUCK OFF!

THERE ARE PLENTY OF WEBCAM GIRLS ON PORN SITES, YOU CHEAP BASTARDS!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

MORE CAUTION TAPE:

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PLEASE DON'T MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE ONLY WANTING DIRTY TALK AND/OR CASUAL SEX!!!

That being said if you are interested in having good coversation with an interesting woman, that could possibly lead into a better friendship then please message me.

ALSO, I'm very selective in who I message back;)

Yay! I'm not a pig!

I just got this email from a dating site. Is this the online equivalent of "My mother says I'm handsome"?

Hey [you specifically],

We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on {dating site].

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch. Did you get a new haircut or something? Well, it’s working!

To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your [dating site] experience:


You’ll see more attractive people in your results.

This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.


so if you don't get "clicks" do you get the "UGLY" email?

Hey [you specifically],

We just detected that you’re now among the most repulsive pigs people on {dating site].

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch. Did you get a new get beat with a bag of nickles or something? Tough break!


To console you, we’ve adjusted your [dating site] experience:


You’ll see more only mutants and inbreeders in your searches.


Have fun wallowing in disgusting wretchedness!

Random Snippets

On Friday night I am:

At my local dungeon

I’m really good at:

Ignoring people

Hmmm... I'm kind of a selective ass hole whom will probably ignore your email... Sorry!!! But on the other hand. If I'm interested I will probably email you first... Good luck!

HEADS UP: Not attracted to white guys. Don't waste your time, I don't reply to them.

That's a tough sell

"Ah yes. Meat market. You know what though? I am not going to sugar coat myself. I am flawed, I am overweight, I can be bat-shit crazy sometimes. But besides that, I can be quite a great gal!

I'm going to tell you right off the bat that I am brutally honest. If you can't handle 100% reality, then I'm not the one you want to talk to.

Also, I really don't like perverts. Perverts can be anyone who wants to see my genitals or show me theirs without actually having taken the time to get to know me first, or people who are looking to meet and get it on the first time. That's not going to happen."

This could be seriously misinterpreted.

"Looking for love, but not in my vagina.... Wanting to get to know a guy first really isn't too much to ask.. Maybe that's like 1920s of myself to want that."

Choose your words carefully, people. 

You have been warned

I'm only interested in dating Pagan or Pagan friendly/compatible men, so open mindedness and religious tolerance is a must. I am monogamous. No open or poly relationships, please. Oh, and more friends are always welcome too.

P.S. I will hex the next little shit lord who lies to me (while googling furiously) about being Pagan. You've been warned.

Sciencey?

Woo (like I'm on here based on advice I got from a tarot reading and I will ask you about your astrological signs) and sciencey (like I have a degree and a job in the sciences), but don't really care about things that mix the two (like spiritual interpretations of quantum physics or geometry).

Outrageous Demands

Message me if … you are VERY tall, athletic/muscular, bright eyed and have a pretty smile, big heart, are super sweet, generous, attentive, loyal... 

Mrs Friendly.

1. Don't question what I do- I'm an accountant, you don't need to know more. I don't talk about work after hours

2. Don't ask about my kids- you' ll never meet them

3. I'm here simply just for fun- not looking for a boyfriend, or a husband, but friends to go out and have fun with

4. Don't lie- just don't tell me everything if there is something you don't want me to know ... Unless you are married, then don't even bother 

She goes on the say she's looking for friends. I've never had a friend who refused to talk about their family or job. Good luck with that!

Creepy Chat of the Day

Mrs. Weirdo: "I want to crack a whip and throw knives"

Me: I don't own a whip. I can teach you how to throw a spear, or shoot a bow, if you like.

Mrs. Weirdo: "I nicked my ankle shaving 3 days ago, and it's still gooey and itches. You think that means it's healing or infected? OMG I WANT TO SCRATCH IT"

Me: Yeah, you should probably put something on that. 

Go away, you weirdo. 

I won't murder you.

Apparently I'm not the only person that feels that way. 

http://happyplace.someecards.com/flirting/okcupid-dating-profile-i-wont-murder-you/

100% Serial Killer Free. No, Really.

One of the first things that became clear to me when I started exploring singles websites is that women are terrified of men. There is good reason for this; men are statistically dangerous to women.

The problem is that as a man, I can't even get a response out of a woman unless she is reasonably sure I'm not a serial killer, but so far no one has offered a "not a serial killer" certification program.

I can't start every conversation with "Hi. I'm not going to stuff you into a freezer", but the worry  hangs in the air like a fart that no one wants to mention, but no one can ignore.